Context: I had been talking to ‘France’ for a bit on Tinder when he asked for my number so we could set up plans. We had plans for dinner on a Monday night… and I canceled (wasn’t feeling it). We rescheduled for dinner on Sunday… and I canceled again (because I’m a terrible person) (or I was … More J: The time I feared for my life
Context: My first Hinge date! I talked with ‘Ginger’ for a while on Hinge, and he liked that I was a consultant, because he had a problem to solve – he will never be a full ginger, because he doesn’t have freckles. We agreed to meet for drinks on Thursday to discuss a solution, but I … More J: PDA is not OK
Context: I started talking to ‘Clinger,’ an attractive blonde with a strange penchant for sunglasses, on Tinder one Sunday. He said he “had a good feeling” about me, so we transitioned to text fairly quickly. Over my many years (months) (…weeks) of Tinder dating, I have honed the craft of determining whether a man is talking to … More J: 0 to 100 Real Quick
… No response. Sorry, L.
… Automatic right swipe
In the presence of alcohol (homemade Sangria* the drink of choice on this particular night), I ask the hard-hitting questions to my Tinder matches. Some take it better than others. Sorry? *I had a watermelon left over from a work event (don’t ask) and I chopped it up and put it in wine. Sangria!
Context: I had been talking sporadically with “Gentleman” on Tinder for a couple weeks. Our conversation had sort of fizzled off, but I restarted it in a moment of boredom (waiting for the Metro, classic) and we decided to meet up for lunch at Lyon Hall on a Wednesday. Before we begin, I would like to … More J: You’re perfect… but not for me
Context: I only talked with “Clueless” for a hot second on Tinder and he was the male version of a basic bitch (… a basic bastard?) i.e. likes to drink and play soccer with his roommates like every other fucking 22-year-old college grad in the DMV area. He was insistent that Happy Hour was God’s … More M: The awkward third wheel
We’re getting married in November.
Context: I’d been chatting with “Insurance” long enough to be fairly confident he wasn’t a serial killer and know that he had a steady job at a local health care insurance company. Paying job, won’t kill me – sounds like a good date! It was a dreary winter in my college town, and I was … More L: Ranting in rings